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So many women complain that their husbands ignore them when they are speaking to them. If my husband is watching a ball game and I call him, he just ignores me. He says he didn’t hear me, but he had no trouble hearing the game. He just chose not to hear me and to focus on his ball game instead.
On one level this is true. But the reality is that the men in our lives really may not hear us when we speak to them. Many men have hearing loss. They compensate by speaking louder, turning up the television or radio and focusing on one sound or set of sounds at a time. What may seem like avoidance is actually adaptation and compensation to hear better, despite the deficit. Interestingly, many men are not bothered by their hearing loss and will only seek medical evaluation to appease their wives or other family members.
When we “hear” a noise it’s actually sound waves that enter our ear canals and bounce off of our ear drums. That action sends waves via the ear bones through the snail-shaped cochlear in the inner ear, on to the auditory nerve and then on to the brain where the sounds are processed and identified. Once we “know” what we heard, we react and respond accordingly.
Hearing loss is a common occurrence. With gradual onset in the 30’s, hearing loss becomes progressively more pronounced with age.
“Most hearing loss is the result of sensory neural damage,” says Erin Rehberg, PA-C, physician assistant at Austin Ear Clinic. “Like everything else, the parts of the inner ear responsible for carrying sounds and the auditory nerves which carry the sounds to the brain for identification and comprehension experience wear and tear over time resulting in hearing loss. With this type of hearing loss, one needs more volume to be able to hear sounds. Individuals compensate by increasing the volume of sounds; speaking more loudly, turning up the television, etc … A better option are hearing aids which amplify sounds, making them more audible.” Rehberg recommends hearing screenings for anyone experiencing difficulty hearing sounds, distinguishing sounds or in people whose family members complain that they either have the TV too loud or seem to be ignoring them. “Many people say that they can hear sounds, but they can’t make out what is being said, especially in crowded areas such as at parties or restaurants. Hearing aids will provide necessary volume to amplify sounds, allowing them to be heard, distinguished and understood.”
So why do men seem to lose their hearing sooner than women? According to Amy Gensler, MA, cochlear implant audiologist and mentored auditory verbal therapist at Austin Ear Clinic, “Men tend to participate in noisier activities than women do. For example, more men play drums, ride motorcycles, work jackhammers and other heavy machinery, hunt and are in the military shooting heavy artillery. This type of noise exposure damages the hearing apparatus and accelerates hearing loss.”
Patrick Slater, MD, otologist/neurotologist at the Austin Ear Clinic, further explains, “Not only do men tend to lose their hearing sooner, it is the higher frequencies (those frequencies in which most women’s voices fall) that go first. The cochlear sits just behind the ear drum in the inner ear. High frequency sounds are coded in the part of the cochlear closest to the ear drum. Chronic noise exposure results in more trauma to this area, accelerates the wear and tear of the hearing apparatus and results in hearing loss at a younger age.”
Dr. Slater emphasizes the importance of protecting your hearing. “When you have hearing loss in a given range or pitch (i.e., in the range of women’s voices), you’ve actually lost 40-60% of hearing in that range. That doesn’t leave a lot of hearing reserve (ability to hear) in that range. If you’re going to be exposed to noise on a regular basis, you should wear ear protection.
But hearing is more than being able to perceive sound. The other part of hearing is comprehension. This is what happens in the brain once a sound arrives via the auditory nerve.
“It’s true that women have higher-pitched voices in the range that men tend to lose first,” says Kathy Samaniego, AuD, Doctor of Audiology at 360 Degree Balance Diagnostics and Therapy. “But women also tend to speak more softly and don’t usually project their voices. This makes comprehension more difficult.”
Samaniego makes the point that with sensory neural hearing loss, auditory closure skills, the ability to contextually fill in the gaps that may occur during a conversation, become even more important.
“To varying degrees, we all read lips,” says Samaniego. “Combining what we hear with what we see and how our brains process and contextualize what we hear, is how we make sense of sound.”
“Part of hearing loss in men has to do with the natural degeneration of their corpora callosa. The corpus callosum is a broad, thick band of tissue that connects the two sides of the brain. It contains millions of nerves crossing to and fro between the two sides of the brain and plays a major role in how information is received and processed in the brain. In babies, the corpora callosa are more developed in girls than in boys. In males, the corpora callosa will reach peak development in the late teens, early 20’s after which it begins to slowly degenerate throughout the rest of men’s lives. This degeneration does not occur in women. Women experience transient defects in cognition during periods of hormonal imbalance; menarche, childbearing and at menopause. But once the hormones rebalance, a woman’s normal processing resumes. So for men, not only do they lose the ability to perceive certain sounds at certain pitches they also have problems processing what they hear. For this reason, consciously or unconsciously, many men engage in selective hearing, focusing their attention on one thing to the exclusion of others in order to be able to better process and fully hear what is being said in that one area.”
Samaniego also emphasizes the differences in how men and women communicate. Men have lower pitched voices, which are easier to hear, they tend to project their voices and speak more slowly. Women naturally have higher pitched voices, speak more quickly and often lower their voices in conversations. Consider two women chatting at a coffee shop. They are usually sitting across from one another, often leaning towards one another. They speak quickly, often with lowered voices and their hands on their cheeks or under their chins. Men in conversation will face each other but rarely do they lean into one another or put their hands on their faces. So by necessity they have to project. Their speech is naturally slower and again, the lower pitch is just easier to hear.
Samaniego had the following advice for men and women.
“It’s really about communication styles. Men and women communicate differently and must adjust their communication styles if they want to communicate with one another. Women, if you want your man to hear you, slow your speech, speak clearly and loudly so that he can hear and understand you. Face him to aid his auditory processing and reduce background noise as much as possible.”
“Men, be your own advocate and state what you need. Ask people (women) to slow down when they speak, to speak up, to speak clearly and to avoid doing other tasks when they are talking to you to reduce noise distractions.”
That’s sound advice indeed.
Now Hear This!
Women:
If you want the men in your life to hear and listen to what you are saying,
Slow down when you speak
Speak clearly
Speak loudly
Face the man you are speaking to in order to aid their auditory processing
Keep your hands and other objects away from your face (especially your mouth) while you are speaking
Reduce background noise as much as possible
Men:
If you have difficulty hearing, advocate for yourself and ask for what you need:
Ask people to speak up and to speak slowly and clearly
Ask people to face you when they are speaking, without their hands or other objects in their face or around their mouths
Avoid chaotic noisy areas as much as possible when you are trying to speak to, listen to and understand someone
MORE INFO
RESOURCES
Patrick Slater, MD, Erin Rehberg, PA-C, Amy Gensler, MA, Cochlear Implant Audiologist-Mentored Auditory-Verbal Therapist
The Austin Ear Clinic
12201 Renfert Way, Suite 100
Austin, TX 78758
512.454.0341
Kathy Samaniego, AuD,
Doctor of Audiology
360 Degree Balance Diagnostics and Therapy
7900 Shoal Creek Blvd, Suite 200
Austin, TX 78757
512.345.4664
www.360balance.com
WEB EXCLUSIVE!
An audiogram showing common sounds and their average volume (loudness).
Note that normal speech is at a volume of about 40-50 decibels.
EXTRA INFO:
To learn more about auditory processing and how the brain works to hear sound read
When the Brain Can’t Hear – Unraveling the Mystery of Auditory Processing Disorder
By Teri James Bellis, PhD.
Although this book is primarily geared towards parents of children with profound hearing loss, it explains the brain’s role in hearing in layman’s terms which makes it very easy to understand. A must read for anyone who is trying to help and understand someone with significant hearing loss.